Putting Pain in Prospective: Squats and Butt-Cheeks

I am not feeling so peaceful today, although I'm definitely in the moment. There were so many squats in yoga class on Saturday that it has translated to butt-check pain today. My mantra of looking better in jeans through yoga leaps to mind with a sharpness as I sit here. 

I will do squats again, but for now I've a real pain in the rear problem to solve.

Two pillows luxuriously wrapped my backside in feathers, but did nothing for the pain.

I've tried sitting on the front edge of the chair with only the smallest part of my rear-end touching anything but then my back hurt, and somehow at that angle my elbows stuck out at 45 degree angles that caused my arms to ache when I held them over the computer and typed. There's no room to scoot my laptop back for better leverage.

Shifting about halfway back on the chair and tilting my knees toward the floor raised my backside off the chair enough that it didn't hurt. The upper thighs took all the pressure. This caused them to splay out fatter than they have ever been. The wall mirror made it look worse than it probably was, but what a sight to see, or preferably, not to see. If that wasn't bad enough my boobs pooched forward, my back arched, and my shoulders hiked up to my ears. 

I'd have not looked toward the mirror and kept going but circulation stopped south of the mid-thigh area. Straddling the chair solved nothing, sitting cross-legged crushed the bottom ankle bone, one leg up and one leg down was just plain lop-sided and useless.

There is, however,  a solution to every problem, right? So, I asked myself... 

What would my elderly aunt do? She sleeps about four hours a night, works around her farm all day, cooks, shops and sits down only to do genealogy stuff on the computer for a hour or so at a time. She'd stand up.

What would my mother do? She'd find a position on the sofa and read all day.

My husband? He'd go to work and tough it out, then grumble his way into bed probably putting his pajama bottoms on wrong side out.

My son would eat pizza and brownies and sparkling cranberry juice, take Advil, then complain about his stomach hurting and ask me what to do. Meantime, he'd figure some way to play video games to distract himself.

My daughter would load up on Advil and go shopping for new bras. (she wouldn't have to sit down once she was out of the car)

My best friend would heave out one of her deepest sighs, laugh in my face, remind me about the similar pain of horseback riding, take a drag from her cigarette (we all wish she would quit), click her pink-painted fingernails, look right over my head all high and mighty, blow out that stupid smoke and say, "Get a freaking cushion, take the Advil (I'm very anti-medicine), unplug the laptop and work somewhere else." She's always been very earthy and grounded, so to speak.

I've decided I'm getting some iced tea and watching television from some position on the sofa. Guess the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.  Maybe I'll call my mom and we can chat, too. Hope she's home. 

 

Any ideas? I'm open for suggestions.